Simply Put
by Campanile
Summary: Xelha's thoughts as she's in the Imperial Fortress, waiting for the Guardian Spirit's return. All the if onlys in the world can't change a thing. Done for the 18coda challenge on LJ. Please R&R :


**Author's notes:** Thanks for taking the time to read this. :)

Vallye's not mentioned in here because Skeed doesn't want to incriminate her. That, and I felt that adding her would disrupt the flow of this fic.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own. This is solely for my own amusement. :)

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_X__elha__ remembers flipping__ through some __of __Lyude's __magnus__. Suddenly she stopped, having come across one she had never seen before. __Lyude__ had told her what the strange words that he used for his attacks meant, always, once she had asked, and she figured that this one would be no different "Say, __Lyude__."_

_He looked up from polishing his…sonic rifle? That _was_ what he called it, right? "Yes?"_

_She held out the __magnus__, and he took it from her."What does this one mean?"_

_He looked at it, and __Xelha__ noticed – though she wasn't quite sure if her eyes were playing tricks on her in the firelight – a slight shadow go over his face. "A __capella__…it means one voice, or a group of voices, singing without music."_

_She remembers being sad. "They're all alone…"_

_Lyude__ looked up at her, and smiled. "I wouldn't worry.__ Yes, they may be, but they create some truly beautiful things, sometimes things that would be ruined with music. You just have to trust that they know what they're doing…" he trailed off. He looked at her, and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ramble."_

_Truthfully, she hadn't noticed. She smiled. "It's all right, __Lyude__."_

Memories come in the most random of times, and this is most definitely one of them. She clings to it, and it brings her great comfort before her vision clears, as much as it would, she supposes, and she has to remember that she's still supposed to be knocked out, but why she's in what seemed to be a fairly open area, where there is a chance that she can still escape, she has no idea.

She can barely see in what she gathered was the main chamber, with Melodia and Fadroh and Kalas standing at the far end, with soldiers lined up in front of them. It was dimly lit, which didn't help at all, and her vision was still swimming slightly from earlier. Would it be a permanent effect from Malpercio's power?

She hopes not.

She looks around, seeing that her friends are still unconscious, and she worries.

More than anything, she's scared not for herself, but for them. She knows she can handle herself, at least long enough to get away, but her friends can't defend themselves at all, obviously, and there's no way that she can leave them. They'll more than likely all be killed, what with being useless to Melodia and Kalas.

No. Not Melodia and Kalas. Just Melodia. It feels like she's denying it to herself, but Kalas was never her enemy.

She can't make herself believe he is now.

She's jarred out of her thoughts when she hears someone walk into the room, behind her, and fear grips her at the thought that whoever it was notices she's awake.

He – the man she's sure she _just saw_ but can't for the life of her remember where – goes up to the three at the head of the room, and addresses them. He starts speaking, her eyes widen, and it's all she can do not to gasp, and by doing so betray herself even more.

She doesn't think she can forget that voice, at least not anytime in the near future. Even though it had really nothing to do with her, it _did _happen right in front of her eyes, and it was something that she never thought she would ever see, never, let alone among family. She knows this man, oh yes.

Lyude's brother.

She snaps herself out of it to hear what he's saying, because she's sure it can come in handy later.

"Tell me, Commander, what do you have against killing them right here?" says the man in green. It's times like these she hates herself for not picking up names.

"Well, General, for one thing, it would cause quite a mess on the floor that I'm relatively sure the nearest soldiers would not be too pleased at having to clean up. Also, if I am understanding Lord Malpercio correctly – and I beg your forgiveness if not – he needs people to serve as sacrifices where the interdimensional rifts opened up, is this not so?"

The White Lady nods, a silent sign for him to continue.

"Why don't we use these five as the sacrifices? Give them up to the Guardians of the Rifts. That way, we won't have to use any of our men, and we get rid of them in one move."

She can't believe anyone would be so blinded by loyalty to their superiors that they would willingly offer up their own _family_ for the purposes of something this twisted. She can barely believe that Lyude wants so very desperately to prove himself to this man and his sister. She wouldn't believe, if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, that Lyude still cares about them.

Melodia thinks for a bit. "Yes, that seems like a very good idea. I can't believe we didn't think of it. However, there are only four needed. I'm sure that the fifth one will be of some use to us later on. You can choose who that will be."

"Thank you, Milady." He begins walking toward her, to the back and out of the room. Suddenly soldiers grab her, and she has to resist all of her instincts not to look around and panic, or cry out and try to break away. She accidentally opens her eyes, and manages to catch his.

_Oh no, I've __really __messed up__ now,_ she thinks, but all he does is sneer, and slip a note into her hand as he walks by.

She's surprised he does nothing else.

The soldiers drag her to a holding cell, and slam the door.

She decides that there's no reason to pretend to be unconscious anymore – after all, it's not going to make a difference on how long she'll last if Lyude's brother decides that she's the one who has to stay.

She sits down, and realizes that she still has the note he had slipped into her hand. She decides now would be a good time as ever to read it, and she's surprised at what it says.

_I've saved his life twice now. I'm in no mood to do it again__ anytime in the near future__. You know what you __must __do._

Her eyes widen as she realizes that, if he hadn't gone to Diadem, Lyude would have been executed.

He walks by her cell, apparently already having made his decision, and she calls out. "Wait. What…why did you…" _Why would you help him? Help us? Don't you hate him? Isn't he worth nothing to you?__ Doesn't that make all of us worth nothing to you? I'm sure you would classify all of us with the whole 'guilty by association' bit._

She wouldn't put it past him to use such an inhuman word like 'classify,' either.

He stops, and turns around. He studies her for a bit, intensely, and she has to fight not to look away. "My reasons are my own. I trust you to get him out of there. That's all." He walks out of the room, and when he gets to the door, turns around for a split second longer. "My name is Skeed." She's shocked, but what he says next absolutely floors her. "Don't tell Lyude."

"…why not?"

Skeed's mouth never moves, but his eyes smile sadly. "He doesn't need to know." He leaves without saying another word, or one last glance (though she doesn't know why she expected it – she shouldn't have, really) at Lyude.

_But…wouldn't you want him to?_ The unspoken words die before they ever reach her lips.

As much as she wants to tell Lyude right then, she knows she never will. The time would never be _right_, and it would just hurt and confuse him even more.

She's still sitting there, surprised, when two soldiers come in and bind her up. They take her to a tiny cell, throw her in there quite unceremoniously, and leave.

She's alone with a toilet, a bed, and a light bulb that can't seem to decide whether or not it wants to work.

She sits, trying to make herself somewhat comfortable, and fails.

She sits, trying not to think about what happened in the Lava Caves, and fails.

The only things that occupy her thoughts are Kalas and his betrayal.

No matter how she tries to think about something else, something more pleasant, something that is much more likely to help her get through this – she can't, and she's not sure that she wants to.

She can't help but wonder…why hadn't she seen...where did she go wrong…what in all the Sky could have possibly possessed him, in order to make him do such a thing?

This isn't the Kalas she knows, the one she fought alongside, befriended, trusted beyond anything. No, it couldn't be.

There is just no way.

_Denial is the first step to acceptance. _She wants to slap herself for ever thinking about a thing, for ever letting that thought enter her head.

She can save him. She can get him back.

She knows this.

She bites her lower lip until it bleeds.

After all, there was nothing that they could have done to stop him, and she's sure, she has absolutely no doubt, that they would have tried.

Gibari would have raged, with a sailor's mouth, and fought anything and everything in his way to defend her, or to get to Kalas to beat some sense into him. She isn't sure which – both of them are things that he would do.

Savyna would have gone straight down to business, betraying no emotion, and fighting, in her own way, just as furiously as Gibari; she would have kept a level head and told her to get to Kalas, and find a way to get him out of Malpercio's influence.

Lyude wouldn't have liked it, no, not just that, it would have completely torn him up inside, but he would have fought, turning his back on his own people once again, sowing the wind, because he couldn't let _Malpercio_ happen to his homeland, and worry about reaping the whirlwind, the consequences of his actions, only when everything was said and done.

The Great Mizuti would have been sending water and light and all the rest at their enemies, finding some time to insert a witty remark at the soldiers, taunting them with that strange manner of speaking of hers, because they just _don't know how strong the Great __Mizuti__ be._

And last, but by no means least, Altair, Kalas' Guardian Spirit, where had he gone to? Would he ever come back? Kalas needed him _now_, more than any other time, and they couldn't afford to have him gone. With power like that, they all needed him. The power to destroy their enemies was one thing – important, yes, of course, don't get her wrong – but the power he had as an otherworldly entity, wouldn't that help banish the evil from Kalas? It had to.

She isn't disappointed in any of them. They did their best, she's sure of it.

She is only disappointed in herself.

Simply put, that's all there is to it. The end. There's no use trying to make it sound better.

If only she hadn't been so blind, so naïve.

If only she hadn't been so trusting.

If only she had been stronger.

If only…if only…

All the _if __only_s in the world won't change anything.

Of course, even with this, she knows that she's going to go back to him, or, if he comes back to her seeking forgiveness, she'll give it to him in a heartbeat.

She doesn't even need to think on it.

But that just makes it hurt all the more.

Tears roll down her cheeks, and she does nothing to hold them back or try to stop them.

After all, she deserves at least to cry.

Things are always the most clear when looking back.

Now it hits her, why that particular memory sprang up. She's a capella now. All by herself, truly alone, with nobody to accompany her right now.

It not fair, for after everything they've gone through, everything they've done, everything they've fought for, to let it all come to an end here, in a cramped dirty cell in the Imperial Fortress.

It all comes back to her.

Laughter.

Sorrow.

Fear.

Pain.

Happiness.

And, most of all, most important to her –

Trust. Trust in herself, trust in her friends, the trust that other people placed in them.

It was, after all, what had bound them together until today.

_I __trust you __to __get him out of there._

She wails in pure despair, not caring who hears her, or, if anyone does.

She realizes the that the two most cruel words in the world are if and only.


End file.
